Cry it out: Night 6

Time put to bed: 18.55

Night 6 crying length: 7 minutes.

1st wake up: 10.45pm -feed #1

2nd wake up: 01.15am. Harlyn went in to soothe her as she was really wound up. She fell straight back to sleep.

Wake up time: 06.00!

Notes: Another great night! 

Cry it out: Night 5

Time put to bed: 18.45

Night 5 crying length: 2 minutes

1st wake up: 21.30. Harlyn went in and soothed her back to sleep. I thought that could be a big mistake, but she stayed asleep for 5 hours!

2nd wake up: 02.30 – feed #1

Wake up time: 05.00.

Notes: I got her back down again until 6.30 am. So she was in bed for nearly 12 hours! Woooo!

Cry it out: Night 4

Daytime naps: 3x naps totalling 1hr 40mins.

Time put to bed: 19.15

Night 4 crying length: 15 minutes.

1st wake up: 11.30 – feed #1.

2nd wake up: 03.30 – feed #2.

Wake up time: 5.00

Notes: Not such a great night last night. Fenn was teething so I think that disturbed her. I tried to get her back down at 6am, but she was having none of it!

Cry it out: Night 2.

Time put to bed: 19.00

Night 2 crying length: 10 mins.

1st wake up: 00.30. Feed #1.

Wake up time: 05.00.

Notes: Yep, you read that correctly, I only got up once last night! She was awake at 5am, and had another 2 hours on her Papa’s chest whilst I slept, so she had around 12hrs. Amazing.

Note that she is also resisting her daytime naps less now too. She still only sleeps for half hour ‘crap naps’, but three of those are better than nothing.

Cry it out: Night 1

I usually feed Fenn after her bath, and she falls asleep on me, but not tonight! I fed her first, then gave her a bath, a massage and gentle songs, teething powders and then two stories in her cot before a final pep talk, kiss and walking out. 

Time put to bed: 19.10

Night 1 crying length: 15 mins.

1st wake up: 21.00. Allowed to cry back to sleep for 30 mins.

2nd wake up: 00.30- feed #1.

3rd wake up: 04.15- Nappy and feed #2.

Wake up time: 07.00.

Notes: Bloody hell, that was considerably less painful than I thought! She must be fooling us… Tomorrow will surely be a terror…

Extreme sleep deprivation or Baby torture.

Fenn doesn’t sleep. She is not a sleeper. This baby is not for napping…

I am writing this at 4.30am, during the 7th awake session Fenn has had tonight. I can see how sleep deprivation was used as a torture method. I would confess to anything in order to get just 3hrs straight sleep.

Fenn actually slept through the night for 7 hours at the age of 10 weeks old. “Yes!!” I thought, “this mothering stuff is easy!” then gradually as she got older, her sleeping got worse and worse. She would happily go all day without a nap if she could, and then sleep only 3-4 hours a night, split into 3 or 4 chunks.

I seriously have no idea how this baby is alive and functioning, let alone looking so cute and happy.

It seems as though all of my friends who have babies who either give formula or breastmilk from a bottle have babies who sleep through. Some of their crotchlings have been sleeping 8pm-8am since a few weeks old and when they try to sympathise and tell me “Little Bobby woke TWICE last night! I know how you feel.” I want to punch them in the throat. There are others who get it, others who are also breastfeeding with babies who won’t take a bottle, others with eyebags so big they drag on the floor. Some of their babies improved once on solid food, but not all and not Fenn. 

I am a human doormouse and before getting pregnant would happily sleep for 10 hours a night. Nearly 9 months of chronic sleep deprivation has left me in a very bad place, both physically and mentally. The exhaustion means that I can’t focus of things, I worry about driving, I only want to eat chocolate and carbs, I have barely enough energy to get through the day let anone excercise and I have zero tolerance to pretty much anything my OH does. I have no idea how we haven’t killed each other. But one of the worst things are the thoughts of hopelessness and uselessness, thoughts that I am a crap mumma and that Fenn would be better off without me… the scary thoughts that spring from that. 

The night before last was the straw that broke the camel’s back. We had both got to breaking point. Something had to change. We have tried almost everything to get her to sleep, different routines, foods, bedding, cot angles, dream sheep, white noise, dim light, stories, no stories, shooshing, you name it, but the crux of the problem is that Fenn has no idea how to get herself off to sleep. 

Time to go cold turkey on the cry it out.

I will keep a diary of the Cry it out process… stay tuned for updates.